How to be attractive - advice on being attractive
"go forth and be attractive" - The eleventh commandment!

© 2005 - Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat - Do not copy
Christian dating advice - be attractive form a Christians viewpoint
what's attractive!!?...
...not the guy above by the look of it!

What's attractive and what is beautiful is a matter of taste, thank goodness! But there are things that will positively enhance your attractiveness, and a few things that won't.
We've all experienced 'love' at first sight - but have you ever come across someone whom in the worlds eyes may be quite unremarkable, yet they possess a certain sparkle that's strangely attractive? -of course. Because God doesn't limit attraction to the physical. It's just one manifestation of many and amounts to little if not followed by beauty in spirit or personality!


The heart of real attractiveness

Firstly there is such a thing as real self confidence from which real attractiveness can arise - starting at the heart and radiating outward. But it begins only when you learn to see yourself in a true light - as God sees you. People who have learnt to do this (granted - easier for some than others) are strangely attractive. They're great to be around! This sounds like a cliché but is actually the key to real attractiveness! To feel about good yourself read self esteem!

Second, there is nothing like the confidence gained by actually doing things - taking on challenges and overcoming fears by approaching them head on. The satisfaction and genuine confidence that comes from doing this builds character and will inevitably make you more attractive.

Thirdly - be lovable (ovoid not angular!)
It's very hard to be attracted to someone who doesn't love themself or someone who is particularly angular. Being liked is a prerequisite for love so when people rub against you in the wrong way let them take the corners off you (Be tolerant). This way you'll be much more likable! Remember it's not 'our right' to be loved and demanding it will make people back off - thus starving us of what we want!


so to be attractive . . .

1) learn to see yourself as God sees you. If you wanna kknow how to be attractive to guys, girls, men and women - everyone has to start here.

2) be yourself - don't be pressured into being something your not.

3) be confident in your abilities. You can do things that at first appear overwhelming and achieving a goal an important way of establishing real self confidence.

4) sharpen your skills - do everything to the best of your ability (A sharp instrument does less work to achieve the same goal!).

5) staying up on current events means you won't run out of conversation should you bump into someone you like.

6) don't be lazy - a top psychologist concludes his book by suggesting that laziness is one of mans biggest enemies. Right or wrong, inactivity is neither good for body or mind. Laziness is very unattractive.

7) don't fear rejection. Some relationships would never work under any circumstances, especially when people have little in common - being turned down does not mean unattractive - more like incompatible. Everyone gets turned down at some point!

8) accept your insecurities and don't dwell on them. Expect God to deal with them at some point. Everyone has weaknesses and in the end we learn about ourselves and others through having them. Develop your strong points and character. Discuss problems with a trusted friend - not a date!

9) get a life - in the nicest sense! Better expressed by saying balance career and leisure. Also, make sure you have some interests!
If working hard comes naturally, keep a grip on reality by taking breaks!

10) go forth and be attractive!!

opposites attract?
It's true - opposites do attract, not always for the best reasons - wanting what you havn't got and all that. It seems to be something in nature, Life is full of positives and negatives. What makes a man - hard and angular, desire a woman that is soft and round? A strange mystery indeed!

 Tips on attraction? - try Amazon's choice

Do looks matter?



the bible
what the dictionary says!
1) That which attracts or draws; an attraction; an allurement. Speaks nothing but attractiveness and invitation.
2) Attracting or drawing by moral influence or pleasurable emotion; alluring; inviting; pleasing. ``Attractive graces.'' -Molten. ``Attractive eyes.'' --Thackeray. Flowers of a livid yellow, or fleshy color, are most attractive.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

attractive adj
1) pleasing to the eye or mind especially through beauty or charm; "a remarkably attractive young man"; "an attractive personality"; "attractive clothes"; "a book with attractive illustrations" [ant: unattractive]
2) having power to arouse interest; "an attractive opportunity"; "the job is attractive because of the pay"
3) (physics) having the properties of a magnet; the ability to draw or pull; "an attractive force";

Source: WordNet 1.6, 1997 Princeton University



Here's another piece on attraction - whilst we should ultimately seek Gods view of 'Attractive', there are still some useful insights to be gained from secular writings like the one below.

More tips to Being Attractive
by Thomas J. Leonard, Founder, Coach University
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The term Irresistibly Attractive refers to the idea of great people, ideas, opportunities, things and more, come To you vs you chasing them or being promotive, seductive or acquisitive in nature.


1. Don't need much.
If you need something, usually it will run away/escape you. Get your personal needs met first and you'll find yourself attracting without trying to hard. (this obviously depends on your circumstances and is easier for some than others)


2. Think bigger.
Attraction occurs when there is a healthy vacuum between where you are and what you want to have happen. The wider the gap, the greater the pulling power of attraction.


3. Eliminate the holes in your life.
Plug those holes by extending boundaries, raising standards, resolving past issues, healing. Attraction won't find you until you're ready. Get ready. Use the Personal Foundation Program for this.


4. Pay attention to what's happening to/around you RIGHT NOW.
Attraction LIVES in the moment, not in the future. Are you responding fully to both the problems and the opportunities that are occurring -- in force -- right now, in your space? Gotta start here, where attraction can find you.


5. Learn from people who are naturally attractive.
Try to work out why some people seem more attractive. Often it's just getting your life in order and learning to be who you really are. Just be ready to make changes in your thinking, assumptions, actions and behavior.


6. Increase your awareness.
Sounds trite, but it's necessary. Attraction is a subtle phenomenon. You won't feel it or get it until you've increased your awareness of yourself, those around you, how you think, your life assumptions.


7. Add value to whomever or whatever you encounter.
We all have something to add. Add it. If you don't have enough to add, learn a new skill. When you ADD what you have to other's lives, whether they are clients, friends, potential customers, family, YOU become much more attractive.


8. Tell the truth. (this has got to be the my favourite!)
This means more than not lying. There is a level of telling the truth that will truly set you free and attract others to you. And, there is a way to tell the truth from a place of love vs power. Usually having awareness and advanced phrasing is what helps this process occur naturally. That, plus having enough reserve in your life so you can afford any consequences of telling the truth.


9. Follow your hearts desire whilst maintaining a sense of responsibility and sensibility.
We've all been overly influenced by shoulds, oughts and have-to's. So much so that what you/we want to do has been suppressed WAY down deep.

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