Should Christians date non Christians...?
2005 - Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating
& Chat - Do not copy
not be yoked with unbelievers"
page talks about the question of should Christians go out with or date
a non-Christian - the age old problem of having a Christian girlfriend
or boyfriend that doesn't believe. Is dating non-believers an option for
Christians? Shouldn't we be equally yoked with someone who believes that
Christ? Well here's a few thoughts and what the Bible has to say about
the nicest guy I've met in ages. It's not as if I ever meet
anyone - and who knows, he might become a Christian"
There is of course nothing inherently wrong with dating a non-Christian.
There are many stories of Christians going out with non-Christians who
subsequently give their life to God and the two go on to get married.
But there are also stories to the contrary of great heartache and eventual
splitting of partners either before or after marriage.
With the added pressure of other people drifting in and out of casual
relationships, everyone else is having all the fun and you end up wondering
why you don't try it yourself! To make things trickier still, some non-Christians
have higher morals, and are more faithful and understanding than their
a real dilemma!
a dilemma, - and it does seem unfair of God to restrict us to the few
that are Christian in the real sense. Trying to find someone with whom
you click, who you find attractive and who you know loves the Lord
- can be so difficult that staying Gods side of the fence can seem like
too much to ask!
- Should I ask that non- Christian guy out at
work? Should I be less fussy? Should I go church hopping? Should I join
an agency? In the end it distracts from the real meaning of Christian
life. Not to mention hours wasted barking up the wrong trees!
Should we consider dating a non-Christian partner outside the church
when one inside seems so elusive
- what does the Bible say?
1) The bible says guard
your heart above all.
We can see with Jesus as our model that as Christians we are
limited in the things we can do. We have to sacrifice many things that
the rest of the world does not, and one of those things is the vast
choice of people with whom we can have a husband/wife relationship.
The bible clearly states that marrying a nonbeliever is to be avoided.
(do not be yoked with unbelievers or non Christians)
However If you find this dogmatic, consider the sensitive way it addresses
people who are already in a relationship with a nonbeliever. Far from
consign them both to hell it offers constructive advice and says that
the Christians' faith actually sanctifies the nonbeliever in the relationship.
-Not to be taken to mean that dating a non-Christian is a good idea.
Be careful who you get together with as bad company corrupts good character.
Can a non Christian partner help you spiritually?
The Bible tells us that few will enter the kingdom of heaven which is
important because it follows that the number of potential partners available
to us will be equally few. It is to be expected that meeting compatible
people is difficult.
-As ever the Bible offers practical advice to real problems!
things to consider . . .
A mature Christian woman dating a spiritually immature man:
This may or may not worry you but consider the fact that
the bible says the man should be the spiritual leader in a relationship.
Spiritual maturity does not come overnight unlikely that a new Christian
man could lead a mature Christian woman.
When you go out with a non-Christian you may have find
you have opposite views on certain issues that your partner may not
consider issues at all! For instance commitment to them may not be commitment
to you. This will give them an unfair advantage in a relationship as
they can break certain rules that you can't - and you may feel pressured
to break them to hold their interest. This really happens! It's much
better when both parties have the same rulebook. With an issue like
no sex before marriage it'll take 2 to say 'no'. When one is indifferent,
temptation will be hard to resist!
a practical point of view . . .
the person you're dating someone you'd like to marry? Being able to
talk about your deepest emotions, hopes and fears in the light of God
is something most Christians would want from a life long partner. Can
you have this kind of relationship with an unbeliever? Most Christians
agree that in the end something is missing. It can be like talking to
someone who "isn't home" for want of a less arrogant sounding
description. Consider what you want.
It is true that many non-Christians have good relationships
(though they could never be as fulfilling as a right relationship in
which both partners included God) With one believer and one nonbeliever.
The scales are uneven and liable to tip.
Having established that it's praobably best not to seriously date
a non-Christian (though this may not always be the case), how can we
improve our chances of meeting someone?
You can visit different churches but this is a
very inefficient way to meet someone. You're going to have to go for
a couple of weeks before you get to know anyone and even then you may
not end up in a position to approach the person you like. It also takes
your mind off church itself. Church hopping is not a sin but it's not
a good way to find a partner.
You can introduce people whom you know have an
interest in each other. If everyone did this you could guarantee the
favour would be returned!
You could try traditional Christian
dating agencies which is a great idea. They even
send you out in groups which is a lot of fun. Or you could use fusion101.com.
This is a Christian dating agency that allows you to contact people
with whom you have something in common. No time wasted and great fun!
Go to 101
FREE Christian Dating & Personals service
1) Does the person you're
interested in have the spiritual spiritual maturity you need? (esp important
2) In a relationship with a non-Christian you may be tempted
to compromise your beliefs in order to stay appealing.
3) Falling in love is easy. In a romantic relationship it may be
difficult to escape a relationship with an unbeliever if it turns out
to be wrong.
Consider carefully whether short term gain is worth giving yourself
to what could be the wrong person.
5) While there can be nothing wrong with dating a non-Christian,
you never know when a casual date will turn into a lifelong love.
6) If you don't want to end up marrying a non-Christian, don't date
services just for Christians
Dating in General
to find a Christian partner
advice for dating non-Christians - advice on dating
for christians @ fusion101.com 2004