Dating Romance Scams Advice
We want all our members to be safe at Fusion101 and take special care approving each and every profile on our site and constantly monitor site activity and singles profiles. Something that anyone using the Internet must be aware of, are romance scams and dating scammers at large - because whilst there are very few cases of scams on fusion101 (it is unfortunately a complete rarity to find free dating sites that are romance scammer free) the fact is, it can happen to anyone on any dating site - paid or not, since most pay sites allow joining and basic usage of the site for free anyway.
So - what are 'dating site romance scammers'?
A romance scam is simply when some one poses to be someone they are not - eg from a country they do not actually live in or use a photo or create an identity that is fake and use this to gain your confidence and trust.
At some point the romance scammer or con artist will ask you for money - usually a little first to test your loyalty. Then using a number of pre-scripted emails and tugs on your emotional heart strings like; "I am stuck at the airport on my way to see you and lost my wallet" they will put you in a position where by not paying them you will feel an incredible amount of guilt. DON'T FALL FOR IT!
Never send money to anyone you meet on the Internet - EVER!
You can always use the card; "it's not Internet etiquette" and you would not be lying! Of course being a Christian you might feel double guilty about not helping someone in a crisis but NEVER give in - here's what you do;
YOU CALL OR EMAIL US AND WE WILL TAKE A LOOK AT THE PROFILE IN QUESTION AND GIVE OUR EXPERT ADVICE.
There - now you have no excuse to be scammed on the Internet. We have explained how not to be scammed on a dating site and pray this advice this protects you. You can even call us about someone on another site - we don't care so long as you are not conned! We would like to pretend that fusion101 is 100% a dating site with no romance dating scammers but no dating site on the planet can claim this - we get them from time to time and we delete them almost faster than they signed up - if they get that far, as all profiles are personally vetted by a professional dating scam expert.
How do I avoid romance scammers on the Internet?
The number one way is to make this one single rule; NEVER SEND MONEY TO ANYONE YOU MEET ON THE INTERNET - PERIOD! They shouldn't be asking over the Internet as it's simply not fair (even if they are not a scammer) and you should not be emotionally manipulated by anyone. Simply reply to any request for money; "sorry but I have been told I am not to send money to anyone I meet online and I have made a rule to follow this advice" - and that should be the end of the matter! If the person on the other end does not accept this - then a red light should go up already and you should be heading for the exit!
NOTE: even if you have met someone they should still not be asking you for money - that's a nother issue we would like to know about if it happens to you so we can remove that members on our dating site.
Generally though fusion101.com and fusion101.co.uk can be considered a scammer free dating site that is safe to use and we want to keep it that way. See our older article about online dating safety tips and guide with earlier methods often used.
How safe is online dating generally?
Not that safe unfortunatley on most dating sites. However on Fusion and other reputable dating sites who take spam, scammers and romance scams seriously it should not be a problem if you follow the basic 'no to money' rule as described above.
For most site scammers create more money!
Yep it's true as more emails from members be they scammer or not they = more website actvity = more clicks = more $$$$!
How to spot a dating scammer on the Internet
It's not that hard fotunately as most are forgeiners pretending to be English American Canadian or basically English speaking citizens. Here are a few pointers to go;
- Borken english in profile, though this is now more common on legitimiate profile as phones often wrongly auto-correct bad typing. However - careful reading should help you discern between the two.
- They claim to be from your country or born in your country but are not.
- They claim to be brought up in a foregin country (to explain their foriegn accent).
- The scammer claims to usually live in your country but currently works abroad on a 'contract' or may be travelling there or even back and forth.
- Their profile or emails may contain bad grammar and broken English.
- Certain counries appear regularly. Nigeria, Iraq, Afghanistan and deployed on war missions (all tug at the heart strings).
- They are widowed (heart strings).
- They have a disabled or sick family member, mother, father or child.
- One or more family members is dead - mother or father.
- Profile is too good to be true - they score 20 out of 10 on every box you need ticked.
- The profile is word for word perfect and excesivley long.
- Text is repeated or copied and pasted from another source.
- Emails and conversation does not match with profile information they entered.
- Claims to be 'honest', 'trustworthy' and seeking 'the love of their life' and not looking for 'perfection.' Very appealing to those of us that are not portraits when we are contacted by good looking people.
- Often they will use the word “honest”, “trustworthy” or “Godfearing”. Soldiers on missions or missionaries more rarely are a recent ply they often use.
- Photo looks fake, studio shot or too good to be true!
- The mention or offer of large sums of money money from a dead relative is the oldest and was the most common form or dating scam - though not so common now.
- You are immediately asked to go onto an Instant messenger (chat) service like msn or yahoo, hotmail google talk or Facebook to avoid being trapped by the dating site owners.
- A scammer with use numerous means to tug at your heart strings with romantic stories, picture perfect idealism when it comes to love, and many other things that will cause you to trust them or fall for their 'honesty' or charm.
- They dislike using the telephone to communicate as this will blow the ball game. If they are from africa they may have an 'American' twang as they watch US TV shows but listen carefully.
- They phone line is bad or sounds very distant (literally!)
- strange activity in backgoround - ie calling from unusual place.
- The phone connection takes an abnormally long time (a few seconds longers) for a local caller.
- watch out for a sudden personal disaster need financial aid!
- Task to a friend and don't be embarrased because it happens (being duped by someone) to most of us at some point and your safety is No.1!
- To avoid the receiver from being able to access your number when using a mobile or a landline dial 141 in front of the number you call.
- watch out for sudden irrational or agressive behaviour if you dont respond to financial requests.
- never feel guilt about not responding to a sudden financial need!
- TOP TIP: Ask questions about their friends, pastor name, church name, which countries they go on holiday to and other things. They oftwn ask you to repeat the question to give them time to think!
Dos & Don't on a date
- never go to someone's house - period!
- never give out personal details - let the guy giveyou his number!
- tell someone where you are going.
- take your phone.
- get a taxi.
- never acceot a lift.
- keep the date fairly short to start - inform them you may need to be away by X o'clock before you meet.
- ask questions about friends, family and church.
- possibly set up a separate 'dating' gmail account to give to people you meet on the web. You won't need to use a separate email account on the website itself if it's reputable.
- don't put too much info (never your addres or phone on the profile).
- never be pushed into giving out your details - say; "I always wait till I've been friends for a bit before I give out my info if that's ok with you?" If they say no - forget it!
What to do if you are in doubt or worried
- contact us or a friend, family member or church member by email or call and DO NOT FEEL EMBARRASSED!
- Do not ignore your instincts and just see what happens if in doubt we will check for you!
- stop all communication with this person.
- If you have sent money tell your bank right NOW - often they can block the transaction before it reaches its' destination!
- give us all the info you have on this person - other accounts on myspace or facebook etc.
- Check out this police description of a romance scam.
- Check out romancescams.org
- Check out scamwatch.
- Dating fraud advice.
- See this video on dating scams.
Well - we hope the above tips and advice helps you stay safe and others in the fight against spam, romance scammers and internet dating site fraud. Now if you want some actual dating tips and advice on dating in general - check out our date advice guide! God bless you all - Edward at Fusion101:)
Copyright 2010 101ChristianNetworks. This guide article will give you help tips, alerts, giveaways, tell-tail signs, alarms, things to look out for, and gudence on how to know, be sure or spot if you are being scammed, conned, tricked or duped into giving or sending money abroad or away on Internet dating sites by farudsters, con artists or unreal users using fake ID, bogus or stolen profiles or identities.